I always wanted to be “that girl.” You know the one: she always has something to do and someone to do it with. I always wondered how she was able to maintain such good friendships and relationships. Was she just lucky? Was it something she was born with? How could I be more like that? The good news is that I finally have the answer. And it’s simple! The best way to HAVE really good friendships and really good dating relationships is to spend some time learning about how to BE a really good friend and BE a really good girlfriend. Turns out that we can all be “that girl.” We just need to learn a few skills.
Skill Number One: Have respect for yourself and your friends and dating partners
Respect is treating yourself and other people well. It is placing value on the friendship or relationship. It is supporting other people and treating others the way you want to be treated. Sometimes we feel like we don’t always have to be nice to our friends, family, or dating partner because we think it doesn’t matter, they already like or love us. The truth is, always treating people close to you with respect will make other people feel good about themselves, and in return they will treat you with respect.
Skill Number Two: Choose to spend time with people that you trust
This one sounds easy, but can often be harder than we think. If you find yourself doubting that your friend or dating partner is being honest with you, it is important to rethink that relationship. If someone isn’t telling you the truth, she is not showing you respect, and the only way to have strong relationships is to have respect. The first person you have to trust is yourself. Trust and know that you deserve friends and dating partners who are honest with you, and trust that if they are not, you can find a friend or dating partner that will be.
Skill Number Three: Good communications
So, you have respectful friends and dating partners whom you trust, but sometimes you still can’t seem to get along. That is ok! In every relationship, people are going to have different points of view. Acknowledge that and be willing to give and take and compromise as long as it doesn’t cross any of your boundaries. Speak honestly and openly about how you really feel and take the time to figure out what your true feelings are before you talk about them with your friend or dating partner. And remember, good communication skills also mean listening as well as talking.
Hopefully after thinking about how you can make sure that you are treating yourself and your friends with respect, spending time with people that you trust, and if you remember to use your good communication skills you might find that your friendships and dating relationships are that much better. So, being “that girl” is really just being the best you that YOU can be!
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