Smiling When Stressed

You and your best friend are all set to see a movie Friday night, but as you’re about to leave school she tells you she can't make it, that she will give you a call soon. Friday night—no call. Saturday night—no call. Sunday night—no call. When school starts on Monday, you still haven't heard from her. What are you most likely to think?

A) Everything is fine. She just had other things she needed to do this weekend.
B) I must have done something to make her upset! What have I done and what can I do to fix it?!

If you chose B, then know what it feels like to be stressed—and it feels pretty bad, right? Your stomach is unsettled and your chest gets tight. You probably get irritated really easily. Stress puts us in a foul mood and it negatively affects our health, so when faced with uncertainties or problems, it’s best that we figure out how to cope with stress so we don’t have to feel this way.

Stress is a state of mind, and two ways to approach stress are with pessimism or optimism. A pessimist focuses on the negative aspects of her life. She blames herself when things go wrong, always anticipates the worst, and sees only outstanding successes and utter failures. For a pessimist there is no middle ground. An optimist, on the other hand, believes it’s okay to make mistakes. She views life positively, sees accomplishments as a sign of successes yet to come, and views setbacks as easy to overcome. As a result of this different way of thinking, optimists feel a lot less stress than pessimists.

If you think you are a pessimist, don't worry—you can train yourself to think more positively in order to beat stress. The first step is to take a look at how you think; once you recognize negative ways of thinking, you can work to change those stressful thoughts.

One way you can look on the bright side is with humor. When you find yourself getting worried or stressed, find a way to make light of the situation by making a joke. Take a minute or two to laugh out loud because laughing (even smiling) can help to relieve any built up stress.

If you find yourself saying something negative, like “I am horrible at this,” consider how you could switch that sentence around to something positive. An optimist would say, “It might take me some time to get better at this,” and then remind herself that she is great at many other activities.

So instead of freaking out when you haven't heard from your best friend in a few days, take a minute to send her a quick message and ask if she's doing okay. You'll feel a lot calmer by reaching out to her, and if something is wrong, you will be able to deal with it in a constructive way!

Elizabeth Stannard Gromisch

About the Author

Elizabeth Stannard Gromisch

Smiling When Stressed Elizabeth Stannard Gromisch You and your best friend are all set to see a movie Friday night, but as you’re about to leave school she tells you she can't make it, that she will give you a call soon. Friday night—no call. Saturday night—no call. Sunday night—no call. When school starts on Monday, you still haven't heard from her. What are you most likely to think? A) Everything is fine. She just had other things she needed to do this weekend. B) I must have done something to make her upset! What have I done and what can I do to fix it?! If you chose B, then know what it feels like to be stressed—and it feels pretty bad, right? Your stomach is unsettled and your chest gets tight. You probably get irritated really easily. Stress puts us in a foul mood and it negatively affects our health, so when faced with uncertainties or problems, it’s best that we figure out how to cope with stress so we don’t have to feel this way. Stress is a state of mind, and two ways to approach stress are with pessimism or optimism. A pessimist focuses on the negative aspects of her life. She blames herself when things go wrong, always anticipates the worst, and sees only outstanding successes and utter failures. For a pessimist there is no middle ground. An optimist, on the other hand, believes it’s okay to make mistakes. She views life positively, sees accomplishments as a sign of successes yet to come, and views setbacks as easy to overcome. As a result of this different way of thinking, optimists feel a lot less stress than pessimists. If you think you are a pessimist, don't worry—you can train yourself to think more positively in order to beat stress. The first step is to take a look at how you think; once you recognize negative ways of thinking, you can work to change those stressful thoughts. One way you can look on the bright side is with humor. When you find yourself getting worried or stressed, find a way to make light of the situation by making a joke. Take a minute or two to laugh out loud because laughing (even smiling) can help to relieve any built up stress. If you find yourself saying something negative, like “I am horrible at this,” consider how you could switch that sentence around to something positive. An optimist would say, “It might take me some time to get better at this,” and then remind herself that she is great at many other activities. So instead of freaking out when you haven't heard from your best friend in a few days, take a minute to send her a quick message and ask if she's doing okay. You'll feel a lot calmer by reaching out to her, and if something is wrong, you will be able to deal with it in a constructive way!
About the Author Elizabeth Stannard Gromisch Elizabeth Stannard Gromisch is a recent graduate of Trinity College in Hartford, CT. She was senior co-editor of the Feminist Scholarship Review and Women Unite! at the Women and Gender Resource Action Center. She is an advocate for women's health and a certified sexual assault crisis counselor.