Ain't love grand? Maybe you've already been lucky enough to experience it: that lovely little vortex that entraps you—and your significant other—the minute you start seeing each other, and makes you forget everyone else exists. My friend Emilee calls this The Love Bubble.
If you haven't been in it yet, you've probably seen it. We all have that friend who vanishes into thin air the minute she starts going out with someone, and only reappears the day they break up. It's not that she's being inconsiderate, at least not intentionally. It's even possible she doesn't realize she hasn't seen you in weeks. I mean, the whole reason she's in the Bubble in the first place is because she's deliriously happy. She's crazy about someone who is crazy about her too, and they want to spend as much time with each other as possible. So what could be wrong with that?
Well, if you've been on the outside of the Bubble, you know how insulting and hurtful it can be. It's easy to feel lonely, left out, and even discarded, and it's hard to remember that your friend on the inside still cares about you. That's why if you're starting a new relationship, it's important not to forget the other people in your life. They still need you, and you need them, too.
If you become too dependent on the person you're dating, you're only setting yourself up for trouble. When you’re young, the chance of you being together forever is slim, and when the relationship ends, you might want a shoulder to cry on. So here are a few tips for maintaining a balance between love and friendship, or as I like to call it, bursting that Bubble.
Consistency is Key
Set aside time every week (or better yet, every day) to spend with one of your friends. This can be in person, online, or on the phone. Do your best to take the initiative whenever possible. Don't wait for your friends to come to you. After all, they might feel tentative about reaching out to you if they know you're starting a new relationship.
Blow Offs = Blow Ups
Never break plans with a friend or drop a friend's call for your new love. Your friends are just as worthy of your time and attention, and you should treat them with the value they deserve.
Sharing is Caring
Encourage your significant other to spend time with their friends, too. Not only will this keep both of your friendships strong, but it'll also keep your budding relationship fresh. A little absence every now and then truly does make the heart grow fonder.
‘Me Time’ Makes Better ‘We Time’
Lastly, and most importantly, don't forget to get in some alone time. Take an hour or two every now and then and make it about you. Pop in a movie, read a book, do something creative, or just sit and meditate. Creating and maintaining your own unique identity is something that will help you throughout your life—and it's the cornerstone of any independent girl.
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